Sunday 17 March 2013

The BSC #59 - Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym)


The cover: Is it really neccesary to point at someone when you're standing that close to them and pretty much literally laughing in their face? Wtf is with the blonde guy's haircut? Was that cool back in the day? 

Plot: The book starts out with Mallory's brothers being a little rowdy, thus setting up the premise for the rest of the book. Mallory's mother wants her to watch Claire for awhile after school but Ben is coming over for a study date. Mal tries to get pretty but basically just complains about how she's so hideous there's nothing she can do. She often complains about hating her nose, I'd love to know what it looks like. I always thought it sounded like she had gorgeous hair too, a little spray of anti frizz conditioner and she'd be sweet! Anyway, Ben comes over, Mal's sisters are all sweet and bring them cookies and lemonade and her brothers act like brats by letting their pet hamster, Frodo, free and making kissing noises to mock Ben & Mal. They leave and go to study at Ben's, whose three brothers apparently act like angels. 

BSC meeting! All the girls tease Mallory because she came from studying with Ben. Logan is at this meeting, too. Boring meeting, descriptions of the club, blah blah. The chapter ends with Jessi telling Mallory that this year they'll be taking gym class with the boys and playing volleyball. Guess it's another new school year! Mallory freaks out at both the thought of sharing gym with the boys and playing volleyball. 

Monday = gym day. Mal tries to convince her parents to let her stay home from school and they nearly cave but then her brothers start whining that they should get to stay home too and their parents shoot the idea down.In the change room at school, Mal decides to pretend to faint to get out of gym but she leaves it too late and everyone has left the change room by the times she falls down. She ends up playing, basically annoys her gym teacher by coming out to the courts late, annoys her team by being terrible and volleyball and thinks the class was much worse they she'd thought it would be. 

After school, she baby sits for Jamie and Lucy Newton. Jamie acts like a brat, throwing his crayons around the house, screaming, hiding from Mal so she freaks out thinking he's missing and then jumps out at her, breaks a vase and cuts his finger. 

Next chapter is Jessi sitting for her little sister Becca and baby brother Squirt. Squirt also acts up, throwing a pot lid at Becca as she is holding a blender of purple juice so it goes everywhere, throws macaroni cheese all over the kitchen and throws blocks all over the rec room. 

The next day is another gym class. Mallory still sucks at volleyball and the guys have all figured out that she's the one to serve the ball too, since she can never send it back. Ms. Walden, her gym teacher, is on her case and then Mal gets hit in the face with a volleyball. The guy who hit her apologises and asks if she's ok but she loses it and calls him an idiot, then when Ms. Walden tells her to calm down, yells that she should try getting hit in the face with a volleyball. She gets benched and her teacher tells her she'll be looking for a better attitude from her next session. Mal goes home, looks after her brothers, who act like jerks and decides she 'hates boys and gym'. 

Next class, she benches herself and winds up with detention. She doesn't mind detention & just does her homework while she's there. Ben waits for her afterwards and she tells him she's going to keep bencing herself. 

BSC meeting - Logan, Dawn and Claudia recount recent jobs where the boys acted like brats - Logan, his brother Hunter, Dawn, Buddy Barrett and Claudia, the Rodowsky's. They all discuss what might be up with kids lately and Mal points out that it's only boys they're having trouble with. Later, Mal looks after Ben's brothers, who act like angels so she decides American boys are the problem. 

Mal benches herself again so Ms. Walden keeps her after school and makes her wash the pinnies everyone wears during gym. 

Kristy baby sits for her little brothers and sisters and David Michael and Andrew act like brats. 

Mal's mother finds out about all her detentions and asks what's going on. They talk and decide Mal should try talking to the boy who's giving her the most trouble and also talk to Ms. Walden.

Ben & Mal decide that since she thinks his brothers are so much better than hers they should switch brothers for a night. Friday night, James, Johnny & Matthew spend the night at Mal's and Jordan, Adam, Byron and Nicky spend the night at Ben's. Mal's parents think the whole thing is weird but agree to it. In a nutshell, Ben's brothers act like... brats. They mess up the Pike's rec room, have pillow fights with the younger girls, flood the bathroom, refuse to eat cereal because the Pike's only use low fat milk and James falls out of a bunk bed and hurts his shoulder, waking everyone up in the middle of the night. On the other hand, Mal's brothers were really well behaved at Ben's and acted like little gentlemen. Mal can't believe it and has to pretty much void her theory. 

Mal talks to Miss. Walden and tells her she doesn't want to play volleyball anymore. Ms. Walden won't excuse her from the sessions but talks to the boys about not targeting Mal and also tells Mal that she understands that it's rough getting clobbered all the time. The boys ease up on Mal and she survives the next four sessions of volleyball. Then the class starts an archery unit. Basically, Mal is great at archery, the people who were making fun of her are crap and Ms. Walden suggests she join the archery team. She makes the team and her brothers make her a cake to say congratulations.

* Is any mention ever made again of Mallory being part of the archery team? 

* Mallory mentions that Ben's mother makes awesome chocolate cake from scratch and that before she met Ben she thought making a cake from scratch meant using a boxed mix. Way to diss your mother, Mal.

* I'm glad this wasn't the first BSC book I ever read with a description of Jessi being black. The story from this books POV is basically, 'Jessi is tall and beautiful. And African American. This was a problem when her family moved to Stoneybrook but they stuck it out and now nobody bothers them about the colour of their skin!' Yay?

* According to Mal, she and Jessi are soooooo glad to be junior officers in the BSC! Stop complaining about being too young to do anything, then. 

* Apparently Kristy's family is a 'modern blended kind of family'. 

* Mallory has a one piece demin jumpsuit that she never wears because it's a little too 'high style'. Yes.

* Mallory's brothers order fruit cups and oatmeal when the Hobarts take them out for breakfast after the sleepover. For some reason that always made me laugh.